Smagulfagul
Smagulfagul is an adrogynous alien, purpotedly from the Dwarf planet, Pluto, that arrived to Earth at an undiclosed time in pre-history, left, and returned in 1946. Smagulfagul had a hand in the creation of all the Superheroes and villains because it is his nature to be neither good nor bad, as he is the master of random events. This list includes Hot Dude, Cool Dude, Timberwolf, Fart Dude, Rape Dude, Fly Man and Burban Gurgachuk. His only known accomplice is Grayson who accompanies him infrequently only when he needs aid building or fixing things. In the future of the series, it is revealed that Smagulfagul raises a child. Biography 'Pre-History' The first known human contact with Smagulfagul is uncertain. The cave paintings in Lascaux, France, dating back 17,000 years from the present, depict an alien figure, purposely colored in white and detailled unlike the paintings of the humans that made them. The alien figure closely resembles Smagulfagul with humans painted around him, apparently bowing. Since it has not been verified whether or not if this is the first time Smagulfagul has been represented by humans, his possible arrival date may been even earlier, possibly even extending to the time of the Neanderthals. According to new archeological findings at Stonehenge, Smagulfagul may have used the structure as a homing beacon on his way to earth as the archeologist have discovered that Stonehenge is a very early 1 byte computer, constantly broadcasting a 1khz radio signal into outer space. It has even been suggested that Smagulfagul implanted the design in local shamans to guide his voyage. 'Ancient Egypt' Smagulfagul's next known recorded appearance was in the early kingdom of Ancient Egypt were he is seen represented on a painting in a Mastaba. His next clear representation is in the pyramids of Khufu, Khafre and Menkaure as relief paintings, but again, the reasons for his depictitions remain unknown. Archeologist have suggested that the pyramidal complex is an even larger computer than the one at stonehenge acting as a more permanent beacon for his trip home and back again to Earth. The purpoted size of this complex of computers is 10 bytes. 'Ancient Greece' Even though there is no clear representation of Smagulfagul from ancient greek times, it is believed that Smagulfagul was spearheading a massive construction project in Olympia that sought to make a programmable computer from marble blocks. The computer was meant to be used by Greece to rule the world. Unfortunately, the Greek territory was being absorbed into the Roman Empire at that time and the project was subsequently abandoned indefinately. The remnants of the designs and pieces of the marble slabs were discovered in Olympia recently by archeoloogists. 'Modern History' Smagulfagul returned to Earth in 1946, only a year after the end of World War Two. When flying his flying sauer over Roswell in the State of New Mexico, he was intercepted and subsequently shot down over the desert. The air force captured him and detained him for interogation. By trying to cover up the incident, the U.S. Air Force purposely leaked a story about another alien encounter (popurality known as the Roswell alien today) to drastically divert suspicion from Smagulfagul. After interogation, he was transferred to the FBI but instead of being detained as the plan specified, he was mistakenly put in the application process of the witness relocation program, the FBI believing that the supposed boy covered his face with linens to protect his identity because he blew the cover of a Soviet spy ring. The deranged Smagulfagul moved in with Mr. Clean as a foster child. It is from here that he developped the potent Mr. Clean cleaning formula, (and also the Chemical of Doom) which launched Mr. Clean to stardom. He help found the company, wrote the catchy jingle and created the iconic marketing scheme when all the time, Mr. Clean believed that Smagulfagul was a child. In order for him to develop, Mr. Clean enroled him in a large variety of activities (in the Duding Dude Boy comic), such as Karate, fencing, Air Cadets, art school and american football training camp. He would fail horribly in many of the activities because of his lack of clear focus. At the end however, he came back to excell in all the activities after he completed the first soviet ICBM and the sputnik program. When completed, his adoptive father could not find any more activites since he completed all of them. He then put him to work on artificially extending his life and his looks so that he can continue to sell his company. This gave Mr. Clean an abnormally long life which made Smagulfagul apparently angry because most of his time was spent maintaining his adoptive father. However he did find time to make the hamburger for John F. Kennedy that created the fart of doom and thus, spawned Fart Dude. After nearly 40 years of living in his adoptive father's shadow, Smagulfagul killed Mr. Clean and took over his cleaning empire. Thus, this prompted a new begining for Smagulfagul. He appeared shortly after on many talk shows such as Oprah and the View, apparently because of his shocking display towards Mr. Clean. His appearances on mainstream television combined with his seemingly benign and innocent nature helped propell Smagulfagul into the spotlight a as an icon of popular culture. Many would believe that his fad would die, like many child TV stars, but he retained his innocent posture as it appears that he does not age. He would continue performing random activity. Even under supervision by the C.I.A., Smagulfagul cannot be accounted for about 95% of the time as his behaviour tends to have no foreseeable pattern. He did, however, develop an affinity to coffee. He is often seen serving coffee to random strangers while saying 'agul'. It is not known how he developed this affinity, although a common speculation is that the liquid substance has a connection to the chemical of doom. Smagulfagul was even employed by Gay-Time! in his effort at world domination, however, he was demoted to janitorial duties because he was seen serving coffee to the students at Roger Saint Denis. During this time, he spawned Hot Dude due to his fixation with Mr. Clean cleaning detergent being taken out of hand. After Hot Dude's creation, Smagulfagul was dubbed as the 'king of random events' by the media and popular culture. Smagulfagul is also to have known to appear in school as a supply teacher and teach kids how to make atomic bombs. Speech Smagulfagul's speech is a subject of intense studying by many think tanks and by the C.I.A. Mostly, Smagulfagul speaks using various syllables from his own name. Most syllables seem to be random and are rarely repeated except for when he offers coffee. In that case, he exclusively says 'Agul'. Another sentence that is repeated is one that is associated with him being angry; 'Sembala puo lapista la moumatsa de viatsu.'. This phrase has ties to romanian. Smagulfagul, the Conspiracy In an attempt to explain many mysteries, it has been suggested that Smagulfagul was responsible for many world mysteries in an attempt to appease his sick sense of humor. Even though many scientist doubt that Smagulfagul has a sense of humor, Vincent and Tanya were able to prove that Smagulfagul was involved in many notorious incidents, such as the Crime of the Century, The Hidinburg disaster, the Titanic disaster, the start of world war one and the assasination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand, contributed to the rise of Adolf Hitler, consulted Stalin on assasinating his general staff prior to world war two (in a attempt to make a mockery of the Communist regime) was Rasputin in disguise to ruin the Tsar, started the Korean war by supporting Kim Il Sung and the North Viatnamese to conquest (he then abandoned this quest to focus on manipulating the chinese to attack the U.S.), provoked the Suez crisis, sent men to the moon with his technological mind, prompted the Cuban Missile crisis, brought down the Soviet Union, was responsible for the failure of the Sega Dreamcast, assasinated Princess Diana (when Death was unable to do his job, he gave it to Smagulfagul), was responsible for the callapse of the american economy in the recession and the reason why the ipod is so popular by visiting his shrine in The Afterlife and visiting his servants. The servants, however, believed that they were in reality and that Smagulfagul was in the realm of the gods (which happens to be reality were Vincent and Tanya are from). 'American Pyramid Allegations' It has recently been brought to worldwide attention that Smagulfagul may have been involved in the construction of the Mayan and Aztec pyramids in a similar fashion to his contributions to the Egyptian pyramids. This theory has gained much traction because it would explain the link in the pyramidal structures from the two distinct and unconnected civilizations. Because there is no archelogical evidence to support that sites such as Chichan Itza and Tenochtitlan were used as an early bit computer, archeologist have suggested that he remotely designed the structures and implanted the plans in the minds of local shamans in order to establish the 2012 doomsday scenario. This latter theory is totally bogus and whoever believes it is a moron. Further Reading *Smagulfagul, Man or Woman of the State Category:Characters